Ever After (pending)

I’m currently writing the third book of a loosely held trifecta of work about gender in relationships. Tentatively titled Ever After, I’m writing it a decade after my partner’s transition, after a move to the Midwest from Brooklyn, after becoming poly, after the loss of both of my parents and my wife Rachel Crowl’s return to acting. As you’d imagine, I’ve got a lot to say about contemporary trans community and politics, about grief, longing, and not fitting in. Long a trans inclusive, intersectional feminist, I will be, as ever, mining and translating gender theory into accessible story telling and memoir.

I’m also currently looking for an agent or editor in order to publish this work. Please contact helenbkramer@gmail.com if you are one.

My Husband Betty (2004)

My Husband Betty is a field guide to crossdressing. Often cited by scholars and read by therapists who work with gender variant individuals and couples, MHB is autobiography steeped in gender theory and accessible for any reader. Now in its umpteenth printing, this book has helped numerous couples and relationship navigate the rocky terrain of integrating crossdressing into their lives, marriages, and families.

She’s Not the Man I Married (2007)

She’s Not the Man I Married was called “a post modern reflection on transness” by Jennifer Finney Boylan and continues the story Boyd left off at the end of My Husband Betty, reflecting on the possibility that her then-husband would likely become her wife. One of the first and only books on relational gender, it seeks to question why and how we gain so much of our own genders from others’ perceptions and identities, sexualities and social groups.